Reading the therapeutic contract in the Quran

Day # 18

On envy and gratitude

Melanie Klein explains that in the paranoid schizoid position (a split state of mind where people and facts are viewed in a very black and white lens) we suffer from persecutory anxieties, (a constellation of anxieties and defences that make us feel that our own survival is constantly at stake, everything is a matter of life or death). We do not relate to people as full separate objects but as part objects we envy. Melanie Klein suggests that the way to a healthy form of relating is through gratitude.

It is then remarkable to note how the first chapter in the Quran starts with words of gratitude, “Praise be to God the lord of the worlds. The Lord of mercy, the Giver of mercy.”

In Islam, we have a daily practice called dhikr, or remembrance of God. The secularised version of this may be daily positive affirmation. But while positive affirmations put man at the centre of one’s healing, Islam’s emphasis is on constantly linking the graces we enjoy to the source that bestowed these graces on us. Perhaps in Freudian terms, a constant reminder that the ego is not the master of its own house.

This act of remembrance relieves us from persecutory anxieties as it reminds us that we are not alone, that there is an entity greater than us in control and that everything is in its hands. We can then move to a healthier form of anxiety which Klein calls depressive anxiety which entails concern for the object. God as an entity that has no needs, wants us to confirm our beliefs with action. He links the show of gratitude to two aspects:

1- Remembrance of God: which relieves anxiety so really benefits us.

2- Our worldly behaviour towards others: to express gratitude towards God, we are asked to show this gratitude in our attitude towards our fellow humans, which as explained in a previous post relieves feelings of depression.

He also consolidated our belief through tests (learning from experience) that expose the diseases of our hearts or maladaptive defences of our psyche, and force us to reconsider, remember and change.

In essence, everything prescribed upon us and that the less discerning might perceive as a chore to please God, only benefits us as God has no needs. On the other hand, every need we attribute to God, may be thought of as an act of envy expressing this hatred of separateness and surrender to Him.

We are given, in the following verses, the example of people’s difficulties in surrendering to the will of God when there hearts are full of envy towards “the other” and that these hearts become all alike in their wickedness.

We are also given the example of Prophet Abraham and his son prophet Ismael who surrender their hearts to God and are guided.

They show gratitude and also pray for their offspring to continue to be guided, extending their concern to generations to come. As such, the examples keep contrasting narcissism and neurosis, persecutory anxieties and depressive anxieties.

In other words,worshiping God is our deepest nature and our core psychic immune system.

Surat al-Baqara

2:114  Who could be more wicked than those who prohibit the mention of God’s name in His places of worship and strive to have them deserted? Such people should not enter them without fear: there is disgrace for them in this world and painful punishment in the Hereafter

2:115  The East and the West belong to God: wherever you turn, there is His Face. God is all pervading and all knowing

2:116  They have asserted, ‘God has a child.’ May He be exalted! No! Everything in the heavens and earth belongs to Him, everything devoutly obeys His will

2:117  He is the Originator of the heavens and the earth, and when He decrees something, He says only, ‘Be,’ and it is

2:118  Those who have no knowledge also say, ‘If only God would speak to us!’ or ‘If only a miraculous sign would come to us!’ People before them said the same things: their hearts are all alike. We have made Our signs clear enough to those who have solid faith

2:119  We have sent you [Prophet] with the truth, bearing good news and warning. You will not be responsible for the inhabitants of the Blaze

2:120  The Jews and the Christians will never be pleased with you unless you follow their ways. Say, ‘God’s guidance is the only true guidance.’ If you were to follow their desires after the knowledge that has come to you, you would find no one to protect you from God or help you

2:121  Those to whom We have given the Scripture, who follow it as it deserves, are the ones who truly believe in it. Those who deny its truth will be the losers

2:122  Children of Israel, remember how I blessed you and favoured you over other people

2:123  and beware of a Day when no soul can stand in for another. No compensation will be accepted from it, nor intercession be of use to it, nor will anyone be helped

2:124  When Abraham’s Lord tested him with certain commandments, which he fulfilled, He said, ‘I will make you a leader of people.’ Abraham asked, ‘And will You make leaders from my descendants too?’ God answered, ‘My pledge does not hold for those who do evil.’

2:125  We made the House a resort and a sanctuary for people, saying, ‘Take the spot where Abraham stood as your place of prayer.’ We commanded Abraham and Ishmael: ‘Purify My House for those who walk round it, those who stay there, and those who bow and prostrate themselves in worship.’

2:126  Abraham said, ‘My Lord, make this land secure and provide with produce those of its people who believe in God and the Last Day.’ God said, ‘As for those who disbelieve, I will grant them enjoyment for a short while and then subject them to the torment of the Fire- an evil destination.’

2:127  As Abraham and Ishmael built up the foundations of the House [they prayed], ‘Our Lord, accept [this] from us. You are the All Hearing, the All Knowing

2:128  Our Lord, make us devoted to You; make our descendants into a community devoted to You. Show us how to worship and accept our repentance, for You are the Ever Relenting, the Most Merciful

2:129  Our Lord, make a messenger of their own rise up from among them, to recite Your revelations to them, teach them the Scripture and wisdom, and purify them: You are the Mighty, the Wise.’

2:130  Who but a fool would forsake the religion of Abraham? We have chosen him in this world and he will rank among the righteous in the Hereafter

2:131  His Lord said to him, ‘Devote yourself to Me.’ Abraham replied, ‘I devote myself to the Lord of the Universe,’

2:132  and commanded his sons to do the same, as did Jacob: ‘My sons, God has chosen [your] religion for you, so make sure you devote yourselves to Him, to your dying moment.’

2:133  Were you [Jews] there to see when death came upon Jacob? When he said to his sons, ‘What will you worship after I am gone?’ they replied, ‘We shall worship your God and the God of your fathers, Abraham, Ishmael, and Isaac, one single God: we devote ourselves to Him.’

2:134  That community passed away. What they earned belongs to them, and what you earn belongs to you: you will not be answerable for their deeds

2:135  They say, ‘Become Jews or Christians, and you will be rightly guided.’ Say [Prophet], ‘No, [ours is] the religion of Abraham, the upright, who did not worship any god besides God.’

2:136  So [you believers], say, ‘We believe in God and in what was sent down to us and what was sent down to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Tribes, and what was given to Moses, Jesus, and all the prophets by their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and we devote ourselves to Him.’

2:137  So if they believe like you do, they will be rightly guided. But if they turn their backs, then they will be entrenched in opposition. God will protect you from them: He is the All Hearing, the All Knowing. And say [believers]

2:138  ‘[Our life] takes its colour from God, and who gives a better colour than God? It is Him we worship.’

2:139  Say [Prophet] [to the Jews and Christians], ‘How can you argue with us about God when He is our Lord and your Lord? Our deeds belong to us, and yours to you. We devote ourselves entirely to Him

2:140  Or are you saying that Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Tribes were Jews or Christians?’ [Prophet], ask them, ‘Who knows better: you or God? Who could be more wicked than those who hide a testimony [they received] from God? God is not unmindful of what you do.’

2:141 That community passed away: what they earned belongs to them, and what you earn belongs to you. You will not be answerable for their deeds

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